His Greatest Regret
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: Is it the fact that it happen, or the fact that it only happened once? ONESHOT, Remus/Amelia Bones


**A/N: And here's the next in a line of Remus Smutshots! Some of these will be QUITE a stretch, but if it was easy, where would the fun be? :P My last one was Remus and Alicia Spinnet, and if you hadn't already figured it out, this is Remus and Amelia Bones. I've decided to leave out the monocle. Too creepy. It may get an honorary mention somewhere, but she will not be wearing it during sex, tempting as that is to portray. You'll get a Smutshot dedicated to you if you can sufficiently explain to me the purpose of a monocle. They baffle me. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Cheers!**

**-C**

As soon as Remus could, he snuck away from Grimmauld Place. He didn't want questions on where he was going. He wouldn't know how to answer them, and then the asker would become suspicious. Suspicious question-askers merely held him up, and Remus was on a mission. Being held up was the last thing he needed.

It wasn't all that far from Grimmauld Place to her London flat…. Twenty minutes, walking, which he was. It was a brisk walk in the warm night air…. Typically the air would have been cool, but with the drought it had been a very warm year.

He rang the bell. He hadn't been to her flat since he was a young man, but she hadn't moved since then, either. She answered the door with her hair half-down from the tight bun she often put it into for work, her robes unbuttoned to reveal business-like attire underneath.

Amelia had grown up so beautiful, Remus thought, instantly reminded of their days as prefects at Hogwarts together, patrolling the corridor, relaxing. She never had a boyfriend…. Amelia Bones always took her work quite seriously; few saw her relax. Remus was one who had seen her behaving leisurely, and he loved her that way. Remus had never had a girlfriend, either. It was too dangerous, having his condition, to commit to someone. What would have happened if he had dated, if someone had fallen in love with him even, and then found out what he was and left? Or worse still, if they had stayed? So despite the constant pestering of his friends, Remus had really always been single, just like Amelia.

"Remus," she said softly. "How have you been?"

"As well as can be expected," he sighed. "And you, Amelia?"

"I confess, I've not been well, Remus," she sighed. "Come in."

He followed her into her flat, unsure of why exactly he'd felt so strong a need to see her. Somehow, thanking her personally for Harry's being cleared seemed a much weaker motivation than it had when he'd begun his walk, but her pretty face made him stay, despite his itching to turn and walk the other way. He oughtn't to be here, he knew it, and he might do something he regretted if he didn't leave right away.

But she handed him a glass of wine and settled down across from him and leaving was suddenly the last thing on his mind.

"I heard about Harry Potter's trial," Remus said softly. "I spend a lot of time with the Weasleys. They're good people."

"Yes, they are," Amelia agreed. "Arthur's had a rough go of things the past few years, but I've never met a Weasley I didn't like, and he's certainly worked hard for that family of his." She sighed heavily. "Honestly, Remus, working with the Ministry used to be so satisfying, but lately I feel as if the good I do is overshadowed by the incompetence and irrationality of others."

Remus knew, of course, that she was referring to Harry's trial most of all, to the ridiculous views of Cornelius Fudge and his immediate staff, and to the frankly alarming fact that Harry Potter had not only been attacked by Dementors, but that such a talented and formerly celebrated boy was being vilified by his previous fans and that the Ministry itself would attempt to ruin his future for their own personal image. Amelia was a practical, logical sort of person. Remus knew it must be difficult for her to work with Cornelius Fudge in the best of times, but now….

"Well, we both knew Dolores Umbridge was going to be the undoing of any good in the Ministry," Remus said softly. She met his eyes darkly and nodded.

When Umbridge first joined the Ministry, she began a rampage against magical creatures and part-humans, particularly werewolves. Remus would never forget the day he had gone in to get registered, under the recently passed legislation pushed through by Umbridge. Amelia had been there, had looked in his eyes, a little bit surprised to see him, but as soon as the shock was over her beautiful face filled with regret and pity. Somehow, he hadn't minded that she'd learned his secret, but he'd not seen her since that day.

"Thank you for believing Harry," Remus said, ashamed at how his voice sounded, knowing that the sensation growing in the pit of his stomach was desire. He was a lonely man, buzzed, and enjoying the presence of a beautiful, familiar face. That was the whole of it, he told himself.

But then, wasn't that really all that was necessary?

He was surprised when Amelia got up from her couch and sat beside him. She smelled nice… some sort of fruity shampoo, he decided, and it went well with the wine on her breath.

Before he realized what was happening, their lips had touched. It was difficult to say who kissed who, or if they had moved together at the same time, but Remus figured it didn't matter, and he soon forgot the whole idea as his mouth moved with hers, opening, allowing her tongue into his mouth, playing with his. This was a side to Amelia, hell, a side to himself that he'd never seen before, but he absolutely loved it.

How they had gotten to the point where they were stripping off clothing he was also unsure of, but he knew that her bare skin on his felt heavenly. Every move was like a dance, choreographed and known only by them, and they knew it so well. Everything she did felt right…. Every kiss against his skin drove him mad and every touch brushing gently against him made him need her more. They didn't say anything but the breathy moans of each other's names. What else would have been said, anyway?

When he was inside her, he almost didn't want to move, for fear of ruining how blissful the first plunge had felt. Soon, though, he was moving in and out, pounding her as ferociously as he could, needing more friction, going crazy for the sounds of pleasure she was making. Was he nearing the full moon? He didn't think so….. All of the lust from this encounter seemed to be from an unrealized tension between the pair of them, but he couldn't be sure. His mind was too clouded and dizzied by lust and pleasure to really think through the lunar calendar properly.

And Amelia and Remus collapsed together when they came, panting and sweaty, holding each other tightly as though the other might disappear and the whole thing have been a dream.

As much as he wanted to, Remus couldn't stay the night. He had to be back to Grimmauld Place. There were things he needed to do. Certainly, his presence would be missed if he stayed too long. Besides, she had work in the morning. It wouldn't do for her to show up exhausted. They promised each other they would do this again, when they could.

But it never happened. Remus had convinced himself that it had been a mistake, that he shouldn't have even gone to her flat. He avoided her as long as possible, not going to the Ministry, staying in Grimmauld Place as often as possible. And when he finally received news of her death, he felt like the most selfish fool there ever was. But the answer was simple: he just couldn't even afford to indulge in the simplest of relational pleasures, because he couldn't trust himself to do the right thing.


End file.
